Have you ever looked endlessly for something and then realized it was sitting right in front of your face? It turns out that the solution to self-criticism is actually quite simple – start loving yourself more.” – Lauren Fire
Understanding Self-Criticism
Self-criticism refers to the behaviour of pointing out one’s own perceived flaws.
There are two types of self-criticism:
Comparative: Comparing oneself to others and feeling inadequate.
Internalized: The feeling that one cannot live up to personal ideals or standards; the belief that one is flawed.
Should you practice self-compassion?
- Is nothing ever good enough?
- Your is way always the right way.
- You often find yourself ruminating over your mistakes.
- Situations are often ‘black and white’ with little grey area.
- Intense fear of failure is a familiar feeling.
…Then YES
How to practice self-compassion:
- Engage in mindfulness
- Speak softly to yourself
- Practice meditation
- Show kindness for yourself.
- Be forgiving towards yourself
- Write yourself a letter from the perspective of unconditional acceptance
- Be flexible
- Memorize a set of compassionate phrases
- Consider how you would treat someone else
Self-compassion exercise:
- Think about a time when a close friend felt bad or was struggling in some way. How did you respond to your friend in this situation? Write down what you did and said to your friend.
- Consider a time when you felt bad or you were struggling. How did you respond to yourself? Write down what you did or said to yourself.
- Did you notice a difference? If so, ask yourself why. What factors come into play that leads you to treat yourself and others differently?
- How might things change if you responded to yourself in the same way you respond to a friend?
-Exercise derived from Dr. Kristin Neff’s website on Self-Compassion
Dare to see yourself as others see you. You in all your unique beauty. Without the critical filter.” – Jenn Hand